"Because Nice Matters"-Dr. Laura Tyson

"Because Nice Matters"-Dr. Laura Tyson, former North Central College Professor of Education

A few years ago I interviewed several students from all of our classrooms and asked them what they liked most about their teacher, and in every group someone said they were 'nice".  When I dug deeper by asking them to explain what they meant by that, they shared ideas that centered around the themes of compassion, passion, flexibility and responsiveness.

When you look at this through a leadership lens, we want to model what we want to see more of in our schools.  My college professor and advisor at North Central College, Dr. Tyson led with the belief that even when all else fails, kindness will shine through.  She exemplified this in her classrooms, in her advisory sessions, and even with her colleagues.  Her passing came unexpected for many of us.  By the time we found out she was sick, we only had a short amount of time to show her the time and gratitude that she gave to all of us.  

When I think about what I want to model and reward as a leader I think about what it means to be kind.  Kindness is not a sign of weakness, but it is a sign of extreme strength especially when working with particularly challenging families, students, and yes colleagues.  There are always options and opportunities to problem solve, show understanding, and learn from your experiences.  

When working with students, I especially keep this notion at the forefront of my decision making.  Our students come to us with a variety of experiences.  Those students whose situations can be more challenging, most likely are experiencing challenges out of their control in their home.  Taking the time to put yourself in that student's shoes, or giving some extra time to truly listen to them, or even asking them your request one more time (even though you already asked them three times prior) goes such a long way with them.  They will remember you for putting their needs before your own, for showing a great amount of compassion, and for taking the extra time to be nice to them when so many others are not.

Do not get me wrong, this takes a lot of extra time and patience, but if we make it part of our regular routine it does not have to be.  Take the extra time to learn as many students' names as possible in your school, smile and greet students as they enter the building in the morning, give high fives to students as they leave at the end of the day and tell them you can't wait to see them tomorrow!

If you are truly and genuinely being kind, it becomes contagious.  It will catch on like wild fire through your hallways.  First to your students, then to your staff, and then to your families.  Before you know it, the culture and community you are building will be exactly what you are longing for.  Do yourself a favor and outline what you want to model in your building.  Reward what you want more of. Model every day what you stand for.