Relationship Building

Make time for Relationships 

When it comes to reflecting on our school community I cannot help but remember Abraham Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs. I think this visual does a good job of summarizing his theory in behavioral psychology and what motivates people. When we think about getting our staff and students to reach their greatest potential, know themselves, and feel comfortable taking risks, or what Maslow would refer to as self-actualization, we need to be reminded that there are other critical steps that need to be in place before self-actualization and accurate reflection can happen.

The pivotal level in working with both students and staff is the level of a sense of belonging. The first two levels have to do with basic needs and in schools there are a lot of systems to ensure the safety and physical well being of both staff and students.  I would argue that the third level, a sense of belonging, is absolutely necessary and one of the most difficult levels to move through if an “us vs them” mentality exists your school community.

An essential strategy strategy that a leader can utilize in their toolbox is to make time to build relationships. These relationships include your students, parent community, teachers and staff. When you take the time to invest in others, a feeling of belonging and acceptance develops therefore transforming the culture in your school community. Relationship building starts with strategically having opportunities for students and staff to participate in low risk discussions and activities. Just as we do with our students, having staff members participate in conversations that are “fun” and non-academic allow relationships to begin to build and break down barriers. Find ways to strategically engage staff into conversations surrounding safe topics prior to sharing ideas about their personal and professional goals, their successes and failures, their hobbies and interests and even their pet peeves. 

Another strategy that leaders can utilize to develop relationships and a sense of belonging is to be visible. A visible leader is one who actively participates in relatively everything that you ask your teams to do. Especially in the beginning of your tenure, it is very important to show you are investing in the systems, policies, and schedules that are put into place. By actively engaging in being a visible leader, you are showing your commitment to reflecting on the practices that have put into place. This opens up dialogue and begins to build trust among staff and students. 

I would also share that celebrating even the smallest amount of success begins to bring individuals together. People are less likely to solely be focused on their own agenda if they understand the people they are working with, see their leader as someone who is supportive and visible, and celebrates accomplishments. 

With all that being said, relationships take time to build. The actions and what you model as a leader affect the relationships you are building in your school community.